Trying therapy again
Therapy Didn’t Work Last Time. Is It Worth Trying Again?
Adam has a therapist’s website open on his phone.
He’s read the page twice. He’s looked at the photo, checked the insurance information, and found the button for a consultation.
He hasn’t clicked it.
He tried therapy before. He went regularly, talked about his childhood, explained what was happening at work, and described the same arguments he kept having at home.
His therapist was kind. He sometimes left feeling lighter.
But months later, his days felt mostly the same.
Eventually, he stopped scheduling.
Now things are getting difficult again, and someone has suggested therapy.
He wants to say, “I already did that.”
Adam is fictional. His story illustrates a concern people may bring to therapy; it isn’t an account of a client.
You already took the risk once
When someone suggests trying therapy again, they may not realize what they’re asking.
You might have spent weeks working up the nerve to make the first appointment. You told a stranger things you rarely say out loud. You rearranged your schedule and paid for sessions. You tried to be open, even when it felt uncomfortable.
And you didn’t get what you needed.
Being hesitant to do that again makes sense.
I remember being in therapy when I was younger and feeling like I was showing up without getting anywhere. I was already discouraged. Doing something that was supposed to help, then continuing to feel awful, made it harder to believe things could change.
So if you tell me therapy didn’t help last time, I want to understand what happened.
What did “didn’t work” look like?
Adam eventually books a consultation.
Early in the conversation, he says, “Just so you know, I’ve done therapy. I don’t really want to spend another six months talking about my week.”
That’s useful information.
As they talk, he explains that he liked having someone listen. What frustrated him was leaving without understanding what they were working toward. He didn’t know whether talking about another argument was helping him change the next one.
Someone else might describe a very different experience.
They might have felt rushed into exercises before they felt understood. They might have learned useful skills but struggled to apply them when emotions ran high. They might have held back because they worried about being judged.
Or they might have participated fully in a treatment that simply didn’t produce enough improvement.
Those experiences deserve different responses. “Try therapy again” is too broad to address all of them.
The next attempt should begin with what you learned
Adam knows more about what he needs now.
He wants a therapist who will listen closely and also tell him what they’re noticing. He wants room to understand his history, but he wants to see how those conversations connect to his life today.
He also wants to know what happens if he feels stuck again.
During the consultation, he asks, “How would we know if this was actually helping?”
They talk about what he wants to change: spending less time replaying conversations, being able to disagree without shutting down, and feeling more present at home.
They won’t know everything at the beginning. But they have somewhere to start, and something to return to.
If you’re considering another attempt, bring what you learned from the last one. What helped a little? What felt missing? What did you wish you could have said?
You can start with, “Here’s what I don’t want to repeat.”
A different approach may matter
Therapy includes different treatments for different concerns. A therapist’s experience, the approach being used, and your ability to work together are all worth discussing. Sometimes the next step involves changing the plan, consulting another professional, or considering additional support—not simply repeating the same sessions for longer.
You don’t have to identify the right treatment yourself before making an appointment. But you can ask a therapist to explain their thinking.
“What makes you think this approach fits what I’m describing?”
“What would we actually do?”
“What would lead you to recommend something different?”
An explanation won’t guarantee an outcome. It does give you something more useful than being asked to trust the process without knowing what the process is.
You need room to say it isn’t helping
Several sessions into his new therapy, Adam notices something familiar.
They’ve spent most of the hour talking about an argument. He understands more about why he got upset, but he isn’t sure what to do with that understanding.
This time, he says it.
“I think this is what frustrated me before. I get why I do it. I still do it.”
His therapist asks where the conversation has been useful and where it has stopped short. They go back to a specific moment in the argument and work through what he could recognize and practice differently.
That conversation doesn’t resolve everything. It does make the work more honest.
You should be able to raise concerns about progress. If you aren’t improving, talk with your therapist about what you’re noticing. Depending on what you find, you may consider another approach or professional.
If something felt dismissive, unsafe, or inappropriate in your previous therapy, that also deserves to be taken seriously. You can seek another professional’s perspective without first convincing the previous therapist that your experience was valid.
Time matters. So does what happens during it.
Some work takes time. Understanding a longstanding pattern and changing how you respond under stress may involve repeated practice and setbacks.
But “it takes time” shouldn’t end every conversation about whether treatment is helping.
What are you working on? What has shifted? What remains difficult? Does the plan still make sense?
A useful conversation might reveal progress you hadn’t noticed. It might also reveal that an adjustment is needed. If the situation doesn’t improve, changing therapists can be a reasonable next step.
You don’t have to feel better after every appointment. You should have room to discuss what the appointments are adding up to.
You don’t have to arrive convinced
Adam closes his laptop after the consultation.
He isn’t suddenly certain that therapy will work. He still dislikes the idea of starting over. Part of him wonders whether he’ll end up disappointed again.
But he was able to say what happened last time. He heard an explanation he could understand. He knows he can bring up concerns rather than quietly waiting until he gives up.
That’s enough for him to consider a next appointment.
Your decision may be different.
You’re allowed to ask questions, speak with more than one therapist, and take your previous experience seriously.
If we talk, I won’t ask you to pretend that experience didn’t happen.
I’ll want to know what you hoped for, what you actually got, and what would need to be different this time.
Baruch Glazer, LCSW-C
Turning Point Therapy, LLC
Depth with direction.